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Recalling Krishnamurti, Marshall referred to the capability of distinguishing observation vs observation mixed with evaluation as "the highest form of human intelligence." Read on for an exercise to help practice the skill of observation in combination with mindful walking.
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Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.
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Trainer tip: Whenever we judge someone else in any way, we create a barrier and distance between us and the other person. Instead, consider shifting from judging other people to awareness of how their behavior affects your feelings and needs. This can make a profound difference in your ability to live peacefully. Read on for more.
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Here's a brief anecdote showing how one woman was able transform a situation, where a man was about to assault or rape her. She responded in a creative way that lead them both to see each others' humanity -- navigating them both to safety. As part of her ingenuity he ended up spending the night in her house, in another room.
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Trainer tip: Do you have behavioral patterns that block intimacy? When we are feeling our most vulnerable, we often want intimacy but also tend to keep it at bay. Acknowledge your need for intimacy, and find people you can trust to love you as you are.
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Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.
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Even in a conflict, you can offer emotional safety without being enmeshed -- and you can do this without sliding into strategies to gain power over another. You can prioritize connection, express your intention, make space for mutuality, honestly reveal what you care about and propose a way forward. This means caring for your needs regardless of their response -- and mourning if their response isn't what you want. Read on for more.
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Bring your teaching of NVC to a new level in these intensive course recordings that focus on shifting the intention of your teaching from how to why while embodying the principles and practice of NVC every step of the way - from planning to delivery.
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When it comes to how you're achieving your goals, notice what you value. Is achievement coming at others' expense? Where is your sense of worth and validation derived from? Do other people in some way set the bar that you strive to surpass? Without comparing to other people, what does success mean to you? Read on for a related story.
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Grow your compassionate presence with this 3-process exercise. The processes include: Connecting to and feeling the Life Impulse meditation, Creating your own inner space of compassionate presence exercise, and the Compassionately Embracing visualization. These processes will guide you toward deeper self connection and compassionate presence.
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We all love to contribute to others’ lives. We love to offer support because it meets our own needs for contribution, love, caring, and making a difference. For today, admit that you love to support other people, and that you would like support yourself. Let at least one person contribute to your life today. Read on for a related story.
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- Deepen your capacity for self-acceptance and self-compassion
- Bring greater compassion to your relationships
- Increase your capacity for vulnerability and mourning
- Enhance your sense of trusting your own place in life, as well as your purpose
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Trainer Tip: Every human being has the same universal needs -- even as each person may choose different strategies to meet those needs. Notice the universal needs you share with other people today.
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Trainer Tip: A request completes the communication by stating specifically what we would like from someone else to meet our need. Without this clarity, our communication can be confusing and can easily be seen as a demand. When people know what you want, you have a better chance of meeting your needs. Make clear, specific, doable requests of people, and see if this increases the chance of meeting your needs. Read on for an example.
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Trainer Tip: Requests include a specific action to help us get our needs met. If we have a complaint or in conflict, and we don’t make specific requests, people are left guessing and/or wondering about what will meet our needs. Our chances for getting our needs met can then become limited. Instead, try ending with a request to let the other person know exactly what you would like to happen.
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If we’re selfish, all we care about is our own needs. If we’re selfless, our needs don’t enter the picture; others needs are the focus. But what if serving others meets our needs? What if being only selfish ultimately results in our needs being unmet? Do you find yourself bouncing between being a selfless doormat and then resenting it, and beating yourself up for being “selfish”? Instead, care about others’ needs AND your needs.
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The heart of the practice of nonviolence is a commitment to live through the powerful combination of compassion, fierceness, and courage, with an uncompromising willingness to stand for truth. Join Miki Kashtan for this exciting and informative course to learn how to practically embrace nonviolence.
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- Tune into your self-dialogue with a compassion that supports loving presence
- Shift limiting beliefs about your parenting patterns so you can choose consciously
- Transform frustration, confusion, or guilt into constructive, honest discussions
- Foster your ability to say yes and no in a way that supports your natural limits
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Trainer Tip: When you make a request of someone, you don't diminish your relationship; you enhance it. If you receive a "no" to your request, consider brainstorming a different strategy that would meet your needs. It isn’t a sign of weakness to clarify what you would like. It helps you commit to living a full and joyful life. Look for opportunities to clarify your requests.
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- Inscrease compassion for yourself through understanding why your capacity may lag so far behind your commitment and what you can do to bridge the gap
- Higher Compassion for your children as you understand better what life is like from within their own experience rather than from the outside looking in
- Surge in energy that you can put into new conversations with them designed to make agreements that are based on the truth of where you all are rather than on any "should"

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