Search the NVC Library

Two NVC trainers went into dangerous, war torn territory to share the skills they found so valuable but end up learning that they need to first apply those skills before those they came to help could receive what they had to offer. Only when the foundation of connection and trust was built could they mediate the conflicts using empathic communication.

Empathy alone can be unreliable in guiding compassionate action. As seen in historical events, military training, personal anecdotes, and scientific experiments, empathy alone may not prevent people from harming others. A sense of duty or obedience, often instilled through fear of punishment and shame, might inhibit empathic action. The antidote may be to fostering empathy without resorting to control, shame, or punishment.

Jim and Jori offer a tip to stay present in the face of our reactivity to witnessed conflict.

Trainer Tip: Mary explains the NVC principle known as the "protective use of force."

Trainer Tip: Using NVC as a tool to transform our judgments can revolutionize our perceptions and relationships.

When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain

Trainer Tip: The change you're looking for begins with a single step.

Join Eric Bowers in transforming past relationship pain, coming alive in community and creating thriving relationships. This 12 session Telecourse recording brings together Eric's passions for Nonviolent Communication, Attachment Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology.

Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities today to choose empathizing over arguing with someone who is angry, and notice how it affects your ability to resolve the situation. Read on for more.

• Support family, community, and organizations to realign with life
• Get the building blocks of integrative decisions that work for all
• Learn to lean on all available capacities to dance together for liberation
• Reweave the threads of togetherness into something stronger than individual existence

Trainer Tip: Your every action has an effect on other people’s lives. The nature of the impact may not be obvious to us, but that doesn’t diminish its presence. The next time you are tempted to snap at someone or cut in front of another driver, consider whether you’d like to be their story that evening. Consider whether this is the kind of contribution you’d like to make to their life.

Trainer Tip: Practicing NVC in situations that are not emotionally charged can give you valuable practice to help you maintain a compassionate consciousness when circumstances are charged. It can help you stay in that consciousness for a longer period of time. You can also practice by naming the needs that you got met in the situations you enjoy.

Trainer Tip: Today, when you tell yourself that you "have to" or "should" do something, notice what you feel and experience - is it a sense of duty, obligation, guilt, shame, overwhelm, constriction, heaviness? Then consider the underlying needs you are trying to meet with the activity. This can shift the purpose and intention with an energy that motivates our actions can bring empowerment and joy to our lives.

Trainer Tip: Make a clear, conscious decision about what’s important to you, and then live from that place. This can support you to become less attached to being likeable or accepted, And less affected in a way you don't want, by others opinions of you and your choices. This can further support you to live in integrity.

Trainer Tip: Autonomy is not a need, but rather a way of living. We always have choices in life, even if none of them appeal to us. Becoming aware of our choices and taking responsibility for them leads to greater joy and empowerment.

Whether its pandemics, climate change, damage to the environment or other massive challenges that humanity faces, what are we to do if we can't agree on even the most basic information and knowledge? From empathic understanding we can focus on shared, universal human needs (where there is no conflict or disagreement) underlying our perceptions, and feelings. Then we can see if there are ways we can agree on to meet those needs.

Trainer Tip: When in a conflict that doesn’t seem to have a solution being aware of your needs, and then being creative and flexible about getting them met, can go a long way to coming up with creative solutions that work for everyone.

Dear friends,

Happy April Fool’s Day, which, according to Wikipedia, “is an annual custom on April 1st consisting of practical jokes and hoaxes.” I always think of my Mom on April Fool’s Day. She was mostly a stern person who scorned practical jokes, but on April Fool’s Day, she would play hoaxes on my father. One year, she...