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Roxy Manning discusses the need to expand our understanding of observations within Nonviolent Communication (NVC). She challenges the idea of objective observation, noting its limitations, and introduces internal observations, citing personal experiences to illustrate their influence on emotions and self-perception. Additionally, she emphasizes systemic awareness as a crucial aspect of observation, highlighting its importance in understanding broader societal issues. Overall, Roxy advocates for a comprehensive approach to observations in NVC, incorporating external, internal, and systemic perspectives to foster inclusivity and empathy.

John Kinyon leads participants through two Observation Exercises to strengthen their ability to be present.  Through the exercises, John distinguishes the difference between feelings, which are emotions felt inside the body, and observations which are witness to our experience.

In this brief audio snippet, CNVC Certified Trainer and founder of the CNVC Parenting Project, Inbal Kashtan, explores observation in contrast to interpretation, and leads an exercise in observation skills.

Trainer Tip: Oftentimes, when we mix an evaluation and observation, we promote defensiveness in other people. When we are able to separate the two, we are more likely to create opportunities to promote open dialogue about our concerns. Be aware of your evaluations and observations today.

There is more to the NVC skill of Observation than the external level of what a video camera sees or hears. In this video, Roxy demonstrates that to fully understand what is happening, we need to know all three layers of observation: External, Internal, and Systemic. 

Many people consider a true observation as something that all can agree on. Some people use the video camera analogy – a true observation is “what a video camera can see and hear.” This perpetuates the myth of the neutral, unbiased observer. There are three layers of observation: External, Internal, and Systemic. Understanding these layers is key to connecting with the depth of the needs, and to create greater shared understanding.

Trainer tip: People often presume why something happened before checking with the other person. Instead, if we were to name the facts of what happened through observation without adding in our own judgments or reasons why we think it happened, we can more easily open the possibility for deeper connection with the other person. Read on for more on making observations.

Recalling Krishnamurti, Marshall referred to the capability of distinguishing observation vs observation mixed with evaluation as "the highest form of human intelligence." Read on for an exercise to help practice the skill of observation in combination with mindful walking.

In this enlightening Trainer Conversation, three veteran CNVC Certified Trainers discuss whether NVC can be learned without first learning Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests (OFNR). The conversation naturally meanders as the trainers grapple with the question, eventually covering a wide-range of topics including the spirituality and true essence of NVC.

Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.

In this recorded telecourse, John Kinyon, world renowned CNVC Certified Trainer, guides you through processes to strengthen your capacity for mindful presence and awareness of your thinking, and to develop the skills to translate thoughts into observations.

Mediating a conflict conversation can be challenging – but with tools and practice, that challenge can be transformed. If you're curious about the specific steps needed to achieve that transformation, join John for an exploration of his non-dual mindfulness practice.

Trainer Tip: Notice when you create stories about why something occurred. Commit to only observing facts. Then make decisions that are likely to give you relief and joy. For instance, if someone is late you may think that she’s inconsiderate or values another thing more than you. Instead, observe what you know—that she's later than agreed. From there, you could call her to find out what’s going on.

There's a growing trend to elevate feelings and personal truths (aka MY truth) to the point of being unassailable "facts". If I feel unsafe, then it must be because of you. As valid as a person’s inner world is, we risk overlooking what's beyond our own views, such as larger forces around us that continue to underwrite exploitation, violence, “othering”, etc. Instead, describe specific words and actions that a camera would record.

Join Dian Killian as she reframes the 4 steps of NVC (observations, feelings, needs, requests) into everyday words you might hear at work.

Join Dian Killian as she reframes the 4 steps of NVC (observations, feelings, needs, requests) into everyday words you might hear at work.

In this compelling interview with Liv Larsson, CNVC Certified Trainer from Sweden, the NVC concept of enemy images — how they develop, what they represent and how they affect our relationships with others and self — is explored.

Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.