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  1. I have choice…

    I have choice…

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    That is my mantra this year. It came to me when I was headed somewhere to do something that I had wanted to do, and yet I was feeling annoyed about it because traffic was heavy and overwhelming. I then gave myself a few moments of self-empathy where I connected to the deeper needs that were propelling me to do the thing in the first place. In an instant, my annoyance and looming resentment slipped away and I felt happy and relaxed.
  2. Unexpected Sweetness

    Unexpected Sweetness

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    It is 5:30 in the morning. I am sitting in a medical facility waiting for my wife, Kim, who has just gone in for a minor surgical procedure. I have only had a couple of hours of sleep and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am not very worried, but am a little worried about Kim. The kind of worry that happens to me when anyone I love (human or animal) is put “under” anesthesia.
  3. I am not an angry person…

    I am not an angry person…

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    Recently, I have been pondering anger, how I express it and the jackal story I tell myself about it. Marshall Rosenberg taught that anger is a natural emotion that is based on a judgment of someone else or myself. I agree with this, so I have been doing some “enemy images” and self-empathy work (and praying for those who are most likely to be the recipients of my anger). My goal was to clear my judgments and take responsibility for my “stuff.” It has helped a lot, and yet I still feel a general anger in me that is not directly related to anyone or any specific situation.
  4. Last year, I planted my vegetable garden in February. It was an enormous amount of work to get it ready. This year, we decided to move the garden farther away from trees (to avoid the ongoing tree root issue and allow more sun). So, we created 4 new beds. Now, they are ready to be planted, and yet… forward momentum has stalled.
  5. Growth Happens

    Growth Happens

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    I want to report that after writing last month’s Growing Roots letter, I did indeed employ my tried-and-true method of moving past inertia: First step time limits. In doing so, I  made progress on planting my vegetable garden.
  6. I ended last month’s Growing Roots letter with a question to you: “Do you remember that you are a gift?” I hope you had moments throughout July that reminded you of this! I am still thinking about it, actually.
  7. The season is changing. What have you done to nurture yourself these past several months? It has been summer in my part of the world and moving into fall. 
  8. Peace Is Possible

    Peace Is Possible

    (4 Session Course)

    Hema Pokharna PhD, Mandakini Pokharna MD

    Multi-session Course · 4 hours, 25 minutes · 11/29/2022

    Listen to this 4-session telecourse recording with CNVC Certified Trainer, Hema Pokharna, PhD and her sister, Manda Pokharna, MD, and you will learn simple steps for transforming conflicts and mobilizing peace at home, at work and in the world.

  9. Happy Beloved New Year to YOU!

    Happy Beloved New Year to YOU!

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    It is the first day of 2024 and I am filled with gratitude and awe. Yesterday, I celebrated my 9th year of hosting my annual New Year’s Peace Meditation. We had over 800 people register from many, many different countries and the meditation was interpreted into 4 different languages. It was incredibly moving, connecting, and hopeful for me!

  10. Welcome to June. It’s the beginning of summer in my area of the world and I usually find myself moving at a slower pace; spending more time outdoors and with friends, more time reading and gardening. I really enjoy the beginning of summer especially because the sun brings just enough heat to feel good, but not so hot to be uncomfortable.

  11. Dear friends,

    My book, Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion has been on my mind a lot lately. It turns 20 years old next year, which I feel joyful about. Along the way, I came across this meditation that I wanted to share with you:

    November 26
    Change your thoughts and you change your world. – Norman Vincent Peale

    Developing Tolerance

    I used to think that Chihuahuas were dumb dogs and bulldogs were ugly. Then one of my friends bought a longhaired Chihuahua named Tilly and another bought an English bulldog named Emma. Once I got to know these dogs and could see how truly sweet they are, it didn’t take long for me to fall in love with both of them.

  12. Nurturing and Despair

    Nurturing and Despair

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    Dear friends, It’s quickly moving into Fall here in the northern part of the world. The leaves are turning, there’s a crispness to the air especially in the morning and evenings, and there’s a certain earthy scent that emanates from the park across the street from our house.
  13. Hope

    Hope

    Mary Mackenzie

    Peaceful Living Blog · ·

    Dear friends,

    Happy April Fool’s Day, which, according to Wikipedia, “is an annual custom on April 1st consisting of practical jokes and hoaxes.” I always think of my Mom on April Fool’s Day. She was mostly a stern person who scorned practical jokes, but on April Fool’s Day, she would play hoaxes on my father. One year, she sewed his boxer shorts’ fly shut. Another year, she reorganized all the drawers in their bedroom. Both of these really made me laugh because it was so out of character coming from her! This April 1st, I do not want to play a trick on anyone, but I do want...

  14. The Real Need

    The Real Need

    Sven Hartenstein

    Music & Arts · 1 minute · 9/1/2024

    What happens when you or others get into evaluating what is the “right” need? (Disclaimer: This is a humor piece. To understand why this cartoon might be funny it’s useful to have some experience with NVC and the NVC community.)

  15. Connect Before Correct

    Connect Before Correct

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2-3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "Recently, I was sitting in my weekly practice group trying to connect to my reasons for wanting to give empathy to a particular person. She was telling us about some painful feeling she was having, but was not connecting to her needs."
  16. The Unconscious Mind Compared to the Conscious Mind

    The Unconscious Mind Compared to the Conscious Mind

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"

  17. Don't Be Nice, Be Real!

    Don't Be Nice, Be Real!

    (4 Session Course)

    Kelly Bryson

    Multi-session Course · 4 - 5 hours · 6/23/2017

    In this dynamic 4 session telecourse recording, Kelly Bryson provides practical skills to balance passion for self with compassion for others.  You will learn to apply Nonviolent Communication to stop yourself from being intimidated, giving in or giving up, abandoning your own needs or resenting others.

  18. Eric explains how we can often avoid regret by getting empathy before making important decisions.

  19. Tips for the Road Series Tip 9

    Tips for the Road Series Tip 9

    Make Poetry Out of Empathy

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 5/30/2017

    Nonviolent Communication includes a practice of empathy that involves listening for feelings and needs no matter how someone expresses themselves, and reflecting back the feelings and needs when it is helpful to do so. You can reflect back in a traditional NVC manner, or in a more creative way, with metaphors.

  20. For many, the word “need” is associated with lack, neediness, and scarcity. These associations are the opposite of the meaning of needs in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In NVC, needs are the motivational energy of our innate wholeness and desire to grow, like the energy of a plant pushing it up through the soil and toward the sun.

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