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When you say yes, check if you are saying it out of submission. Similarly, when you say no, are you saying it genuinely or out of rebellion? Marshall Rosenberg calls this a loss or erosion of goodwill which can destroy or undermine relationships. In this video, Rachelle Lamb shares how submission and rebellion in communication can diminish your power.

Reveal what's in your heart before asking a question to help build trust, especially if you're in an authority figure. Otherwise, your question may sound like a demand, blame, trap, intrusion or accusation, and it may elicit a defensive response. If you get a "question" like that, give them empathy. Read on for reflection questions to see how our revealing and our withholding impacts our relationships with others and with ourselves.

There's a growing trend to elevate feelings and personal truths (aka MY truth) to the point of being unassailable "facts". If I feel unsafe, then it must be because of you. As valid as a person’s inner world is, we risk overlooking what's beyond our own views, such as larger forces around us that continue to underwrite exploitation, violence, “othering”, etc. Instead, describe specific words and actions that a camera would record.

It seems death cafes are everywhere these days. But how changed are we by the conversations we're now having? Not everyone is open to talking about death. It may well be that someone in your life is nearing the end of their days and their refusal to talk about it may be confusing and disheartening. How do you get them to speak when they don't want to? In this session, we will explore different approaches to navigating this tricky terrain.

Our world is facing stressful times. And the more stress you experience, the less resourced you can become. But consider that you're not messed up, but rather, the challenges you bear is a response to manufactured environments and culture that are more hostile than they are kind towards our human souls and bodies. And so, let’s be clear. Let’s be discerning. Let’s be compassionate. Let’s pay attention.

Use these cards in your practice group or NVC training to understand 4 different ways of responding to hard to hear messages. Become aware of the way you habitually respond to stimulus and develop skills to respond with empathy and express honestly.

When does identifying our or others' needs become a coping mechanism that hides the real problems that go unaddressed, and thereby reinforcing problems?  This article zooms out to take a look at how dealing with our needs in the absence of the larger picture can inadvertertly support unhealthy ways of operating, rather than become a healthy solution.  It asks us to see what could be hidden -- both on the personal and societal levels.

Could our "need for autonomy" be getting in the way of "partnership consciousness" (as NVC is sometimes called). Could "autonomy" also block healthy relationships with not only ourselves and with others, but also with the planet? This article invites us to consider how "autonomy" may colour our NVC practice at the peril of our critical values. Values such as our care for impact, shared responsibility, interdependence, compassion, consideration, and more...

When we don't like what someone is saying to us, sometimes people encourage us to hear their needs, and "not take it personally" -- and we're inclined to agree.  Could "not taking it personally" close our hearts and awareness to others, life and ourselves?  Rachelle Lamb invites us to take a closer look at what it's like when we attend to the situation from our hearts, and skillfully reflect upon our actions with tenderness.

What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work?  This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC.  It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life".  And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

Rachelle Lamb invites us to consider how our well being is impacted by what we choose to put at the center of our narrative regarding our needs.  And how that affects whether or not we get closer to truly serving life and compassion...

Getting "feel good" empathy can become an addiction. Even to the point of seeing people who don't offer empathy as "not being NVC". Rachelle urges us to notice how this view of NVC can be seductive, and even dangerous. In this article, she explains how we can expand our compassionate awareness when we go beyond equating NVC with harmony and empathy. She asks us to become more open to noticing others' experiences even if it challenges our personal and collective belief systems -- and especially when it upsets us to consider it.

Unappreciated, Judged, Disrespected, Offended, Manipulated ... people use these words to describe feelings but these are all words that describe interpretations instead. They're also words that get people's backs up. Talk about unproductive! The solution? Develop a vocabulary of feelings so you can minimize defensiveness in others and facilitate connection.

Rachelle Lamb offers proven steps to substantially boost meeting productivity and efficiency, and make meetings more productive and enjoyable for everyone, when using NVC. Rachelle offers a series of quick tips including check-in,  take turns, pause, speak honestly, speak mindfully and more.