Trainer Tip

I saw my Lord with the eye of my heart, and I said: Who art Thou? He said: Thou.

—Al-Hallaj

"Nonviolent Communication (sometimes known as Compassionate Communication) is a way of interacting that facilitates the flow of communication needed to resolve differences peacefully. It focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will, and avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem.

Nonviolent Communication assumes that enriching life is the most satisfying motivation for doing things, rather than being motivated by fear, guilt, blame, or shame. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. It is effective even when other people involved are not familiar with the process." —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D., Founder of Nonviolent Communication

The four components of Nonviolent Communication are:

Observations—observing a situation without moralistic judgment, or diagnosis.
Feelings—expressing to another how you feel without assigning blame.
Needs—expressing to another which of your universal needs are unmet or which you would like to have met.
Request—expressing a specific, doable request of another person in an effort to help you meet your needs.

For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at least two of your interactions.

This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.

• NVC
• OFNR
• Marshall Rosenberg
• Observation
• Feeling
• Needs
• Request
• Mary Mackenzie