Trainer Tip

The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it, whether he’s got an abscess on his knee or in his soul.

—Rona Barrett

Contrary to popular belief, when you make a request of someone, you do not diminish your relationship; you enhance it. It is laborious, frustrating, and futile to search for the perfect person who will automatically know what you want without being told. However, simply asking for what you want can provide instant relief.

For instance, if you want more intimacy in your relationship, what specifically could the other person do to help you meet that need? You could say: “Honey, I’ve been feeling a little lonely lately, and I would really like more intimacy in our relationship. Would you be willing to plan a time this week when we spend an entire evening alone together without the TV or telephones?”

Or maybe you want sex: “Honey, I’ve been feeling lonely and I’m really missing our lovemaking. How would you feel about taking a couple of hours tonight and creating one of our famous long lovemaking sessions?”

If he says no to either of these requests, consider brainstorming a different strategy that would meet both your needs. It isn’t a sign of weakness to clarify what you would like. It helps you commit to living a full and joyful life!

Be aware of opportunities to clarify your requests to your partner and other people in your life today.

This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.

• request
• Mary Mackenzie