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- Time Investment: 1 - 2 minutes
- Date Added: 9/15/2021
- Intro Text:
Do you ever give up on disagreements, temporarily or permanently? Do you ever disengage from conflict because you’re certain the situation can't be resolved? Sometimes this applies. And consider how you may be giving up too soon, which decreases the possibility for resolution. This speaks to your level of commitment. How committed are you to valuing another’s needs and to finding resolution?
- Date Created: 2005
- Payee: Mary Mackenzie
- Points: 1
- Skill Level: Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It’s about building and maintaining relationships that work.
—Melody Beattie
Do you ever give up on disagreements by walking away, either temporarily or permanently? Do you ever simply not engage in a conflict because you’re certain the situation cannot be resolved?
Sometimes, taking a break from conflict is a good thing because it gives the people involved a chance to calm themselves. Deciding not to engage can be a good choice. Many times, though, people give up too soon, which decreases the possibility for resolution. This speaks to their level of commitment. How committed are they to valuing one another’s needs? How committed are they to finding resolution?
If we start a disagreement based on the consciousness that we want to get our own way or that the other person doesn’t care, we diminish the opportunity for success before we’ve even opened our mouth. Commitment is about living from our values even when it’s uncomfortable and tiring. It is a choice.
I once heard a speaker say that he had finally met his soul mate. He asked the audience if they knew how he knew that. They said no, but leaned forward in their seats because they were certain he was going to tell them something important. He said, “I know she’s my soul partner because I say she is.” He committed himself to her. Consequently, when he and his wife argue, they focus on resolution because they are committed to staying in the relationship. This small shift in attitude has dramatically deepened their relationship.
Meet any disagreement with clarity about your commitment and with the goal of a resolution that values everyone involved. Who are you committed to? Does he or she know it?
Be aware today of whom you are committed to; when you interact with them, be conscious of your commitment.
This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press.
Keywords:
- commitment
- conflict
- resignation
- Mary MacKenzie
