NVC Resources on Love
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The impulse to say "I love you" is an opportunity to check-in both with our level of presence (eg. are we saying it by rote?) and also with what we really mean in that moment (eg. what are the needs and real purpose deep beneath the word "love"?). This can invite us to explore a deeper, more heartfelt way of communicating and being...
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Celebrate love with Rodger Sorrow! Listen in as Rodger discusses a range of topics such as defining love, religion and love, and how to handle unloving responses.
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If someone asks you to love them as is, try wondering what contributes to their need for acceptance. Loving someone and empathizing with them, doesn't mean you can't make requests for change. Recall that your requests are about your needs, not about them. Understand that requests may not be met due to lack of resources or skills, even if the desire is there. Clarify how important the request is to you and how negotiation can look.
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Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like to you? And how will he know if (s)he’s been attentive enough?
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"Falling out of love" is a misleading concept that can lead to feelings of helplessness in relationships. The initial intense phase of love gradually gives way to the need for intentional effort and communication. Unrealistic relationship expectations can erode connection, causing the perception of falling out of love. To address this, we can ask key questions and seek clarity to attend to unmet needs and maintain a healthy connection.
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Trainer Tip: Love can be both a feeling and a need in Nonviolent Communication. It can be seen as a need if we do something to meet our need for love. We can also experience love as a feeling, just as warmth, affection, and excitement are feelings. Often, but not always, we can feel love and meet our need for love at the same time.
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Fearless Loving and Living
(4 Session Course)
Kelly Bryson, veteran and loved CNVC Certified Trainer, brings decades of experience to help you jumpstart your Mastery of Fear by using his unusual blend of experiential exercises, humor, empathy, original songs and stories, transformational truth telling, creativity and FRED (Frequency Resonation Energy Dynamics). -
Trainer Tip: Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where your need for love is not met. Consider ways in which a partner or friend could meet your need for love. Be sure to request something the other person is capable of doing. Whatever the situation, it is our responsibility to clarify how we can meet our need for love, while also considering the abilities of our loved ones to comply with our requests.
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Trainer Tip: When we love a child there's a contribution we can provide in helping them go their own way successfully, in big ways and small.
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What Would Be Possible If I Loved Myself?
(3 Session Course)
Join Kathleen for a gentle, compassionate exploration and embracing of your true self. Reclaim your self-worth, experience greater freedom when expressing your self and actually celebrate who you are in the world. Delve into what self-love is and is not – including how to distinguish self-worth from negative cultural labels such as self-obsession and selfishness.