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NVC Resources on Feelings

  1. Living Autonomously

    Living Autonomously

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/8/2023

    Trainer Tip: Autonomy is not a need, but rather a way of living. We always have choices in life, even if none of them appeal to us. Becoming aware of our choices and taking responsibility for them leads to greater joy and empowerment.

  2. A Hunger For Appreciation

    A Hunger For Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/9/2023

    Trainer Tip: Ask someone what they enjoy about you being in their life. For example, “Would you tell me 3 specific reasons you enjoy having me in your life?” To a vague reply like, “Oh, you know I love you. I just like spending time with you.” Or, “You’re one of my best employees!” ask for more specificity (eg. “Can you tell me what I do and what needs it meets that makes me one of your best employees?”). This may reveal more to both of you.

  3. Beyond The Tyranny Of Hard Work

    Beyond The Tyranny Of Hard Work

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 8/15/2023

    No one on their deathbed wished they worked more. Working is unlikely to bring a meaningful life. And yet greeting friends with survivalist expressions, such as “I'm dead-tired", can feel like affirming our own worth. Taking time off can bring inner spaciousness, ease, rest and consequently time to meet life, to really meet it. Which brings more clarity into the question of what we would like to celebrate on our deathbed.

  4. Inspired By Meeting A Greek God

    Inspired By Meeting A Greek God

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 7/19/2023

    This anecdote illustrates how a young man had the social awareness to consider how male conditioning may bring up competitiveness in his interactions with another man. The young man offered transparency and checked for consent in a way that shows an embodiment of power-with, togetherness, consideration, care, collaboration... and all without displaying any formal NVC training, and without looking to impress.

  5. The Lonely Trainer

    The Lonely Trainer

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 4/21/2023

    Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We need feedback to keep such conduct in check.

  6. Liberty and Justice for All?

    Liberty and Justice for All?

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 4 minutes · 10/28/2023

    The American mythos of Independence Day is that liberty, equality, and opportunity are for all. Yet since the country's formation, these needs have been for some at the expense of others. It started with the brutal robbery and genocide of Native Americans and slavery of Africans. And this theme continued for generations in various forms, including how we related to other peoples, countries, and the ecosphere. To achieve true justice, liberty, and opportunity for all we may need to overcome the ego's sense of separation. Compassionate noncooperation may also be key.

  7. Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

    Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 4 minutes · 01/01/2024

    Judgment is an attempt to protect from hopelessness or insecurity, at high cost. Instead, check in with fear, grief, or hurt. Then wonder what needs are at stake for everyone. This makes space for grief instead of anger, for negotiation rather than control, and for "calling in" rather than excluding. Wonder: “For whom would this be life-serving or not?”, “What strategies would care for all needs?” or, “What can I contribute now?”

  8. When a person of color (A.K.A. a person from the Global Majority, or GM) tells a marginalization story that triggers a defensive response from a white participant in a group, to foster awareness and healing, leaders can address the white person's distress with empathy, highlighting the common dynamic of prioritizing white pain. From there, leaders can offer GM participants opportunity to share their experience and make requests of the group.

  9. Guided Dialogue

    Guided Dialogue

    A Structured Approach to Conflict Resolution

    Duke Duchscherer

    Video · 3 min 54 sec · 04/03/2024

    In this snippet from Duke Duchscherer's course, Restorative Dialogues: Transforming Conflict, Building Community Resilience, he shares a structured approach for conflict resolution or communication facilitation. It involves a facilitator guiding a conversation between two parties in conflict. The process begins with one party expressing their perspective while the other listens actively. The facilitator then prompts the listener to paraphrase what they heard, ensuring mutual understanding. This cycle continues until both parties feel heard. Subsequently, the facilitator encourages them to discuss potential solutions collaboratively. Once both sides are satisfied, the session concludes, with participants potentially swapping roles for further practice. The aim is for everyone involved to gain experience in effective communication and conflict resolution.

  10. A Deep Dive into the Art of Mediation

    A Deep Dive into the Art of Mediation

    (5 session course)

    Yoram Mosenzon

    Video · 5 - 6 hours · 10/30/2024

    CNVC Certified Trainer, Yoram Mosenzon has a vision… he sees mediation as a basic life skill that could be taught in schools starting at the age of three. He dreams of a world where all human beings have mediation skills to support understanding, cooperation, and connection when conflicts arise. 
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