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Trainer Tip: Oftentimes, when we mix an evaluation and observation, we promote defensiveness in other people. When we are able to separate the two, we are more likely to create opportunities to promote open dialogue about our concerns. Be aware of your evaluations and observations today.

Distinguishing between needs and strategies to meet needs is crucial for solving conflict. For example, the need for peace can be met through various strategies beyond solitude or gratitude. Similarly, sex is a strategy. Sexual expression is the need behind it, and can be met in various ways to meet that need without having sex itself. Such flexibility can foster  creativity and deeper connection, enhancing relationships.

When working to repair a relationship after conflict, and after reaching mutual care and understanding, you’re more likely to prevent future disconnection in similar situations by coming to clear, specific, and actionable agreements. Ensure requests for agreements come from a negotiable needs-based dialogue. Clarify specifics and plan to revisit agreements to assess their effectiveness.

Learn the difference between true requests and demands, and why honesty matters with children.

Sylvia Haskvitz shares NVC basics to help you improve understanding and connection in communication.

In this excerpt from Roxy Manning's 2019 Social Change session at the NVCfest, she explores the application of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to address both immediate conflicts and broader systemic issues. She emphasizes the importance of intervening at multiple levels, from stopping harmful behavior in the moment to driving long-term societal change.

Miki Kashtan helps you move past fear and build skill in making clear, confident requests.

Discover how self-empathy fosters healthy, supportive relationships with children and others.

Ask the Trainer: Get ideas to help your girlfriend accept you aren't responsible for her feelings.