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NVC Resources on Feelings

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  1. Making Your Empathy Guesses More Natural

    Making Your Empathy Guesses More Natural

    Mary Mackenzie

    Video · 3 minutes · 09/25/2023

    Join Mary Mackenzie, Certified NVC trainer, as she offers ways to incorporate NVC empathy guesses, feelings and needs into everyday conversations. This approach is geared towards adding deeper connection to the natural flow of conversations. The technique has become known as Street Giraffe.

  2. Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

    Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

    Sarah Peyton

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 3/9/2019

    Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others.  This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...

  3. Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

    Parenting With A Focus On The Long-Term Goal

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: Notice when you're tempted to wield physical, emotional, and intellectual power to get your children to do what you want. This coercion or force may bring short term ease, but long term it can be counterproductive. Ask yourself “What do I want my child to do?” and “What do I want my child’s reasons for doing it to be?”. Then consider ways to help them connect to their intrinsic motivation for doing it.

  4. Your Inner Leader

    Your Inner Leader

    Eric Bowers

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 3/4/2019

    When building successful relationships, it can be very helpful to see yourself as a collection of different inner parts that developed due to various life experiences. Without empathy and acknowledgment, our inner parts tend to work against us. That's when we're called upon to build and develop our inner leadership...

  5. New Year's Revolutions - For a Change

    New Year's Revolutions - For a Change

    Jori Manske

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 1/7/2020

    Here's a four step exercise applying a needs-based approach to effective goals, habits and New Year's Resolutions.

  6. Trauma and Sanctuary

    Trauma and Sanctuary

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 2/23/2020

    One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.

  7. Moving Towards Life-Serving Responsibility in NVC

    Moving Towards Life-Serving Responsibility in NVC

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 11 - 26 minutes · 6/17/2022

    In the "obnoxious stage" we care for our needs in a way that doesn't respect others' needs. In the "emotional liberation" stage we fully care for others' needs as much as our own—while being free of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation. Often NVC training teaches us how to achieve the latter stage without the former. For greater compassion we can be more rigorous in how we talk about “responsibility", impacts and interdependence.

  8. Codependency

    Codependency

    From Rescuer To Taker

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 11/11/2022

    Codependency occurs when others' behavior affects us in unhealthy ways and we get obsessed with controlling their behavior. For example, we may focus on other's needs while neglect what matters to us, and resent it. Or we may depend on others to rescue us from results of our actions. Or we may fix or rescue others' neglected responsibilities. Or we may make others responsible for our needs. Instead, notice your needs, what you can('t) change, and your priorities.

  9. Self Regulation - Moving Outside of Triggers

    Self Regulation - Moving Outside of Triggers

    Yvette Erasmus

    Video · 3 mins, 30 sec · 11/13/2023

    Yvette Erasmus shares practices to help us develop a regulated nervous system. We all get hijacked and triggered at some point. When that happens we can travel a blame and shame road or we can greet ourselves with graciousness and self compassion.

  10. Beyond the Limits of Empathy

    Beyond the Limits of Empathy

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 3/21/2023

    Empathy alone can be unreliable in guiding compassionate action. As seen in historical events, military training, personal anecdotes, and scientific experiments, empathy alone may not prevent people from harming others. A sense of duty or obedience, often instilled through fear of punishment and shame, might inhibit empathic action. The antidote may be to fostering empathy without resorting to control, shame, or punishment.

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