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NVC Resources on Relationships

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Defusing Self-Sabotage

Access this complete 6 session course In this 6-session course Sarah Peyton will take you through the 5 levels of unconscious contracts that can create patterns of self-sabotage and self-defeat. Each session introduces a different unconscious contract based on various aspects of relational neuroscience and provides support for the release of these contracts. Sarah Peyton shows you how, with...
NVC & Social Change

Access this complete 8 session course We've seen how Nonviolent Communication can provide immense personal healing, but questions have arisen on whether it can also contribute to meaningful social change. Roxy believes it can, on both the individual level and the systemic level. NVC for Social Change teaches how to navigate these challenging social issues with love and compassion. By leveraging...
How To Deal With Difficult People

Sometimes it may be difficult to talk to someone who is criticizing, judging, or blaming you. It may be just as difficult to deal with someone who is giving you the silent treatment, giving you the cold shoulder or just plain throwing a tantrum. So, here are some tips on how to deal with those difficult people who have a hard time communicating what they want to say in a loving and kind way....
Pause Difficult Conversations with Skill and Self-Connection

Oren Jay Sofer explains how we can stay grounded and maintain choice during overwhelming or emotionally charged conversations. He highlights the importance of presence—feeling our feet, noticing our breath, and expanding our awareness—to counter the fight-or-flight response and self-regulate. Oren also teaches a simple three-part structure for pausing a conversation without damaging the...
Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment,...
Approaching a Difficult Conversation

How do you repair a relationship when you've already said things you regret, and want to reconnect with explaining or defending yourself? Listen as Miki Kashtan offers two valuable tips. This is an excerpt from Miki Kashtan's 7 part course Naturalizing NVC Language, which is also available in the NVC Library. Access the complete 7-part course Keywords Miki Kashtan naturalizing NVC regret fear...
Secure Differentiation

Differentiation is being who you are in the presence of who they are. Its a process of connecting to and honoring your own experience, acting in integrity with your values, and engaging in collaboration with others to meet needs. Are you happier when you are not in an intimate relationship? If so, you may have developed your individuality but likely have difficulty with differentiation. Learn...
Asking to be Known

There are various ways to be known. Learn how to engage and make clear requests accordingly. This includes getting clear in yourself about what exactly you want known; communicating how important it is to you; sharing examples in your life of being known; requesting and negotiating from the energy of the met need; letting the other person know whether or not the relationship is really...
Matching Resources to Needs

We can create processes that encourage resources (particularly money) to flow to where they are most needed. Engaging in "money piles" is one new way that can refocus conversations on real, practical problems to solve -- rather than ideological or abstract discussions about who "earned", "deserved", worked "harder", or merits more. It can tilt conversations based on transaction and obligation...
Addressing Needs Beyond Market Economies

Within the pandemic, limitations of our market economies are more visible. Extreme need is exposed when the economy is collapsing and so many people are without jobs. We can now see how it’s possible to direct resources where they are most needed, solely out of care and interconnection. This is a call to explore a more viable way of living, that centers relationship over transaction. This...