Robert Gonzales Training Legacy

Ask the Trainer: For many years I have been using crime and punishment (reward and consequences) to discipline because it was the only thing I knew. I knew deep in my heart it was alienating me...

Ask the Trainer: Can all needs be met when illness limits the capacity of one person to meet the needs of her partner?

Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"

Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

Inbal clarifies the difference between needs and strategies, and why the distinction is important in our parenting role. She offers two questions to ask yourself if you're not certain whether something is a need or strategy.

John Cunningham provides support to deepen your understanding and practice of NVC, including a sketch of the participatory and onlooker modes of consciousness, lists of feelings, needs and sample dialogues.

Using her own and participants' examples, Inbal illuminates parents on where they might be struggling with connecting to their children's needs, especially in situations where the children are responding to the parent's request.

Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

Have you ever gotten a fishing line all tangled up? You got so frustrated you just started yanking on the different loops of line, which of course made the knots and tangles even tighter and more difficult to untangle. Wouldn’t it be great if you could notice the minute you were starting to tangle things up in a discussion with your loved one?