Browse the NVC Library

A chosen, interdependent world… In most cases, that's sure not the world we live in today, is it. But it could be the world we live in tomorrow. And you can choose to be part of bringing that better world to life – to be part of a gradual, joyful transformation – simply by using the dynamic, living power of Dialogue.

Although we are evolutionarily designed for collaborating with others when attending to our basic needs, the weight of the systems and cultural messages we have inherited interfere. Many of us are doubtful that collaboration is possible or effective, and most of us lack both the faith and the skills to live collaboratively, regardless of cultural imperatives. Miki helps us navigate this terrain.

NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"

When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

Trainer Tip: NVC asks us to be aware of our needs and discomfort is evidence of an unment need. However focusing on ourselves when we're uncomfortable isn't always the best choice.

Inbal answers a parent's question about praise and offers a perspective on how praise translates into the NVC framework.

Trainer Tip: Anger can be an opportunity to hear the "Please" behind the words and create a path to resolve conflicts compassionately.

Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed how often we back up when we find ourselves in a conflict? Or how much we try to pull away when someone is angry or in emotional pain?

Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"