Robert Gonzales Training Legacy

Trainer Tip: When looking to create healthier habits for your body, consider what needs those habits support -- such as integrity, nurturing, or love. Then consider the ways your body supports your life, and if you want to live in harmony with your body. If you make loving your body as natural as brushing your teeth or making your bed in the morning, you can bring deeper peace into your life.

If we’re selfish, all we care about is our own needs. If we’re selfless, our needs don’t enter the picture; others needs are the focus. But what if serving others meets our needs? What if being only selfish ultimately results in our needs being unmet? Do you find yourself bouncing between being a selfless doormat and then resenting it, and beating yourself up for being “selfish”? Instead, care about others’ needs AND your needs.

Trainer Tip: Meetings can be unproductive when the participants aren’t clear about their needs or what they want from the group. When participants express opinions without expressing a need or informing the group of what they want, the meeting lacks clarity. Instead, if we can focus on naming our needs and make related requests, we can get closer to resolution much faster and enjoy the process more. Read on for an example.

So often we're habituated to associate a “why” question with being reproached, blamed or shamed – and so defensiveness arises. However, in order to maintain a flow of understanding and collaboration, we need to hear and say the “why” while finding other ways to ask for it. Here we look at how to ask questions that bring each of us vital information that can open up discovery and learning, for our mutual benefit.

Trainer Tip: When have you responded in a way you didn’t want? How could you have handled that situation differently? What would have better met your needs? Try not to judge your behavior, but learn from it. Each time we review our actions, we can learn something, become more adept at new skills, and come closer to our ideal. We can do this with the learning curve of practicing translating people’s words into feelings and needs.

Some things may seem to take longer at first, but end up making things easier and faster. Other things seem easier or faster in the short term, but end up taking more time in the long run. This applies to projects, group agreements about process, relationships, addressing conflicts, clearing up misunderstandings, damage control, etc. It can be faster to slow down, be more present, and take the time since we care about the outcome.

How often do you find yourself stuck between two options? Do you go with option A or option B and what if it's a complicated decision that involves more than just a quick thought process? In this Life Hack we guide you through a process you can use when facing a difficult decision with a simple 5 step process, this meditation should leave you feeling more at peace and with more clarity on moving forward. This meditation also brings in elements of brainstorming and ideation, so as well as reflecting on your needs, once the process is finished we hope you find some fresh ideas of ways to move forward.

Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only then choose what actions to meet needs.

Trainer Tip: Whether we listen to our own or the other person’s needs first, connecting to needs can help us release judgments of others, see their humanness, help us to begin to hear them and ultimately connect to them. Be aware today of times when you are judging someone. Then be aware of your own needs to improve your connection to them.

How do you build new learning paths and change old practices? Listen as David presents the elements of somatic practice — including those that build new learning paths — and discover where that learning “sweet spot” is!