Trainer Tip: Q: How do we get the love we want? A: Ask for it. Trainer Tip Tell the truth faster. Have a good life.—Mackenzie Jordan Before I learned Compassionate Communication, I would procrastinate over things. I would think: “Oh, it’s not really that bad. I can get over this.” I’d stew about it for a few days, weeks, or even months. Then I would blow up out of frustration. A blowup meant that I might yell at the other person or simply cut them out of my life. All because I couldn’t find the right moment to express my feelings, or because I was worried about how the other person would receive the information. This process was completely unproductive and painful for all concerned. I created a mountain out of a molehill by not speaking up right away. Now I know that talking about something when it’s not a big deal ensures that in most cases it won’t become one. Do I sometimes worry that my honesty may stimulate pain in the other person? Absolutely. But I also know that if I don’t speak up, I will generate much more pain. Speaking up for myself meets my needs for love and respect. When I’m honest with the people in my life, I demonstrate my love and respect for them. I show that I value the relationship and I want our connection to continue. For today, speak up the minute you start to feelannoyed, hurt, disappointed, or angry to demonstrateyour love for yourself and the other person. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. Keywords: expression feelings honesty needs requests love relationships honest expression vulnerability Mary Mackenzie