Trainer Tip: Do you ever feel certain that other people see things the way you do, only to find out they don’t? Read on. Trainer Tip Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. —Arthur Schopenhauer Do you ever feel certain that other people see things the way you do, only to find out they don’t? Did you ever sit in a meeting feeling bored, certain that the other participants were also bored, only to discover when you mentioned it that they were totally engaged? People make assumptions all the time based on their own experience and view of the world. Several years ago when I worked at a university, my assistant dean came into my office with my bottle of sugar-free syrup. The dean’s office had a very small refrigerator which several of us used. I assumed he was returning my syrup because he was frustrated with how much room it was taking in the refrigerator, so I said in a sarcastic tone, “What’s the matter, is my syrup taking up too much space?” He looked shocked and said: “NO! I’m returning it to you because I know it’s your special syrup, and I was worried you wouldn’t have it in the morning if you forgot it again. I thought you might be disappointed if it wasn’t there for you in the morning.” Ugh. It had never occurred to me that he was thinking of me. I was certain of my own reality. The next time someone does or says something that you don’t like, try asking for clarity before assuming your reality is theirs. Clarify your assumptions with at least two people today. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. Keywords: appreciation acknowledgment expression feelings honesty gratitude love honest expression Mary Mackenzie