NVC Resources on Anger

In this upbeat video, CNVC Certified Trainers Kelly Bryson, Christine King and Jean Morrison enact two role plays that involve a triggered adult interacting with a young student and a teacher who has just witnessed an unpleasant interaction between two students.

Ronnie Hausheer, an NVC facilitator who volunteers her time for OccupyVoice.info joins NVC Academy co-founder Mark Schultz in a discussion of her work sharing empathy, NVC training and mediation with members of the Occupy Movement.

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan talks with radio show host Hollis Polk about strategies for communicating with family members whose political views oppose our own.

Trainer Tip: The exchange of resources, that is, exchanging money for an item or service, is enhanced and better appreciated when we are connected to its personal value rather than its cost.

Listen to Roxy Manning explore the barriers to speaking authentically as powerful voices for change, and practice these needed conversations about the ongoing violence in the streets of America.

How do you bring empathy and authenticity to uncomfortable work situations when there are so many layers of difference – especially if your primary reason for working is to feed your family and pay your bills? Listen in as Roxy opens participants' eyes to some of the many layers of difference we all deal with on a daily basis.

Join Jim Manske for practice exercises that will help you navigate away from reactivity toward a more compassionate way of being in the world, and learn to express vulnerable honesty(scary honesty} .

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan helps a man whose ex-spouse reacted strongly to his attempt at empathizing with her. Miki shows us how it’s possible to hide behind our empathic expression, creating less rather than more connection. She suggests instead that we be vulnerably authentic.

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan shares how Marshall Rosenberg helped her see how unacknowledged fear can be misinterpreted as aggression and offers an elegant and simple strategy for changing this dynamic.

In our internal conversations, some voices dominate others, which can leave us feeling fragmented or overwhelmed. But when we dive beneath the surface and really listen to our many parts, we connect vulnerably to our full humanity.

Please listen as we discuss and grapple with the issues of growing polarization in our world, political structures and personal relationships.

Duke Duchscherer shares that Restorative Circles have the ability to transform relationships. Groups may start with feelings of worry, anxiety, fear, anger, and even hatred. The dialogue process supports a shift to more ease, connection, and trust.

Ask the Trainer: Is it a good idea to use NVC on persistent guilt, anger or depression without the aid of others?

Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.

Where do you feel desperation, resentment, anger about your partner's choices? What do you want to demand of them? Rather than looking for what they're suppose to do, look for your feelings and needs, how would you would respond if you trusted your needs could be met without your partner, and what you choose to do given what your partner offers and does not offer.

When an entity or system has authority or power and mandates something we don't agree with we may submit or to rebel. If we submit, we give in or give up, often out of fear. If we rebel, we're in reactivity which may not help our cause, and reduce our power. This may result in others' resentment, anger, and pain. Gandhi and Martin Luther King didn't submit nor rebel. Instead, they were in choice...

There's a danger in using empathy exchange to perpetually recirculate and exchange pain (often by telling and re-telling the same old stories), rather than using it as a catalyst for transformation. It can create and further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, and violence. It can also reinforce dualistic evaluations of "met" vs "unmet" needs. And it...

Judgment is an attempt to protect from hopelessness or insecurity, at high cost. Instead, check in with fear, grief, or hurt. Then wonder what needs are at stake for everyone. This makes space for grief instead of anger, for negotiation rather than control, and for "calling in" rather than excluding. Wonder: “For whom would this be life-serving or not?”, “What strategies would care for all...

Mismanaged emotional pain can compound and hurt ourselves and others. Four ways we can mismanage pain are: denial, blame, depression, and escape/numbing. This can result in hatred, resentment, discrimination, revenge, anger, and more problems. The fifth way we can deal with pain is to confront the pain acknowledging it and dealing with our unmet needs. This is a more direct path. Read on for...

Trainer Tip: Here are some options for tense moments in conversations: try a "redo", understand and recognize your habits, pause to regroup, empathize with the person so they feel heard, check your mind frame before speaking, and name some appreciations about one another.