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Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We need feedback to keep such conduct in check.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Level
  • Duration 4-6 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee NVC Academy
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration 6-9 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee NVC Academy
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

This anecdote illustrates how a young man had the social awareness to consider how male conditioning may bring up competitiveness in his interactions with another man. The young man offered transparency and checked for consent in a way that shows an embodiment of power-with, togetherness, consideration, care, collaboration... and all without displaying any formal NVC training, and without looking to impress.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Duration 4-6 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee NVC Academy
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Among NVC practitioners, empathy can be superficial. How open are you to being influenced by what others are saying? Do you reflect back and then guard and remain within your position of being right, even as you say otherwise? Only when we're eager to be influenced by what they say can we connect, expand our world and thus, shift the field. Without such openness we fool ourselves into thinking we are truly empathic listeners.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration 3-5 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee NVC Academy
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

No one on their deathbed wished they worked more. Working is unlikely to bring a meaningful life. And yet greeting friends with survivalist expressions, such as “I'm dead-tired", can feel like affirming our own worth. Taking time off can bring inner spaciousness, ease, rest and consequently time to meet life, to really meet it. Which brings more clarity into the question of what we would like to celebrate on our deathbed.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration 3-5 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee NVC Academy
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration 3-5 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee NVC Academy
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: When there is conflict, the chances are good that people are arguing over a particular strategy. When we focus on our needs, the opportunities for peaceful resolution that values everyone’s needs are much greater. This can also build trust. Be aware of opportunities to shift focus from strategies to needs. Read on for an example of how this can work.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill level
  • Duration 1-2 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: Ask someone what they enjoy about you being in their life. For example, “Would you tell me 3 specific reasons you enjoy having me in your life?” To a vague reply like, “Oh, you know I love you. I just like spending time with you.” Or, “You’re one of my best employees!” ask for more specificity (eg. “Can you tell me what I do and what needs it meets that makes me one of your best employees?”). This may reveal more to both of you.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill level
  • Duration 1-2 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly states how your life was enriched, without judgement.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill level
  • Duration 1-2 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer Tip: It can be more productive and satisfying to focus on what we want than on what we don’t have or don’t like. What will help rectify the situation? What would you like someone to do now or next time? This can eliminate much of the emotional pain caused by berating yourself or others. The moment your focus is on what is wrong with your life or what's lacking, take a moment to shift it to what you want.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill level
  • Duration 1-2 minutes
  • Date Added 4/21/2023
  • Premium Members

    n/a

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1