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When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.

This exercise will help you resolve situations in which you have two needs which seem to be in conflict with each other, transforming inner conflict into peace.

Here's a four step exercise applying a needs-based approach to effective goals, habits and New Year's Resolutions.

Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and living in a city where people have some trust in one another's intentions.

Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."

In this inspiring video, Robert Gonzales, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, talks about his personal search to integrate spirituality into his daily life, and how Nonviolent Communication provided the missing link for this integration and has become the focus of his work.

Love keeps the thread of connection intact in times when all around us we see the human fabric becoming threadbare. When we dig deep with love into guessing what others care about that had given rise to their actions, it changes us. It brings us closer to understanding the incomprehensible -- and closer to vision, imagination, humility, curiosity, commonality, and loving action. Read on for more on applying this to people we deem "conspiracy theorists", and those who are on the other end of the political divide.

Receiving anger from another can be a reactive trigger for many of us. In this brief segment, Arnina provides us a strategy for staying in the conversation instead of physically leaving.

Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.